What makes me address this topic of vulnerability are two things: 1. as human beings it’s only normal and human to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is what makes us human, what can humble us and we can actually grow from our vulnerabilities. 2. I read an article that was a bit disturbing about someone who I will not mention the name but the fact that some people have mentioned how she uses other people’s vulnerability to exploit them just saddens. Although being vulnerable is only human, there is a certain degree of vulnerability that is not good and it is this kind of vulnerability that I would like to discuss in today’s blog post.
Many may want to hide their vulnerability and that’s understandable. I don’t think anyone wants others to think that they are weak or anything negative of that sort. I would like to make emphasis once again that there is nothing wrong with being and feeling vulnerable because that is what makes us human. It also doesn’t make you a weak person. However, like anything, too much is the same as too little. Being and feeling too vulnerable to the degree that look outside of yourself so much to the point that you don’t look within can be very dangerous territory to tread.
I looked up two places for the definition of vulnerability. On Google, the definition was “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally”. On the Cambridge English dictionary, the definition was “able to be easily hurt, influenced, or attacked”. There is a point I want to prove with these two definitions. If you are “exposed emotionally” in terms of you feeling hurt because you are grieving or you went through some trauma or you feel depressed at the moment or anxious, any of the things that human beings go through, in this case, there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable because it takes courage to be vulnerable and come out of all that stronger. However, if you are “able to be easily hurt, influenced, or attacked”, then vulnerability is a problem.
I also would like to discuss the part of the first definition of vulnerability “….being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed…”. I think the word itself has had a bad reputation, for lack of a better word, because it is when someone is vulnerable when they can “feel” or “think” they are defenseless. I would like to encourage you to believe that vulnerability does not mean powerless. Vulnerability can take you to greater heights in being able to understand others in a way that some perhaps may not. You will only be defenseless if that’s what you believe and if you give your power away just because life threw something at you that you were not prepare for.
Now on to the kind of vulnerability that is not good. Vulnerability is not good when that puts you in a position where you no longer validate yourself. When you need others to validate you constantly because you feel powerless, that’s a problem. Trauma, childhood issues, abuse, depression, anxiety, none of this need to make you powerless. You are a beautiful being, made to perfection even with your imperfections and made with a purpose.
Vulnerability is not good when you give someone the power to make the decisions for you, to tell you what is right for you or anything of that sort. YOU have the power to make your own right decisions. YOU are the only one who truly knows what is right for you. Others can help lead you to your own path and help you figure it out on your own but if you need someone else to lead you rather than you lead yourself, this kind of vulnerability is not good.
Vulnerability is not good when you allow mistreatment from others. When you are not aware of other people’s mistreatment because you are too “vulnerable” to realize this, this is a major problem. Yes, as human beings we need love, to be needed and to belong but it should never be at the price of our self-esteem. It’s too expensive to lose your peace of mind, dignity and self-love.
Vulnerability…..it’s one of those topics that must be discussed since it affects our well-being but we determine how we let it affect us. It can affect us in a positive way if we allow ourselves to grow from the experience or it can affect us in a negative way, allowing it to rob our self-worth, our power and our connection with ourselves.
This is my longest blog post yet and it was because of that disturbing article I read that I needed to address this topic. If you are feeling vulnerable at this moment, I would like to please encourage you to utilize your vulnerability for growth, not for self-destruction. It’s necessary for “bad” things to happen because we can grow from it and be better because of it. Of course, I quote the word bad because this word can mean different things for different people. It is with the intention of helping you view vulnerability in a lighter light that I write this blog post.
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