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How Does Lack of Self-Love Looks Like?

Updated: Oct 25, 2019

Self-love is so critical to your overall well-being because this is one of the basics for building the foundation of your well-being. Love leads to trust. Love leads to respect. Love leads to healthy boundaries. When it comes to having a healthy relationship with yourself, self-love has to be there.

But many times, that lack of self-love tends to wear a mask and we think we love ourselves but in reality we don’t. It is when we lack self-love that we find ourselves in situations where we not only question ourselves but we question whether or not we deserve certain things, we self-sabotage, and the list goes on.

So with this said, how does lack of self-love looks like? Lack of self-love looks like you coming up with excuses for why someone disrespects you. It masks itself in you blaming yourself all the time for everything that goes wrong. It looks like you abandoning certain aspects of you and so you seek elsewhere for what you think you need. Lack of self-love also reveals itself in the choices that you make. Lack of self-love wears many masks that it is not possible to discuss them all in one post but I will focus on the ones I just mentioned here.

I’m going to elaborate a little bit on each of these things. The first one which is you coming up with excuses for why someone disrespects you. First off, there are no excuses or reasons for someone to disrespect you, I don’t care what the other person claims their reasons are. Someone disrespecting you is a reflection of who they are and how they feel about themselves. You allowing the disrespect is a reflection of the way you feel about yourself. You allowing the disrespect means you don’t feel deserving of respect which means you don’t love yourself. Remember that love is respect.

The second mask that lack of self-love wears is you blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. There is a big difference between taking responsibility for what happens in your life and blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. One leads to greater well-being because it leads to growth and the other is just plain negative and only chips from your self-esteem. There is a negative energy to blaming because it is accusatory. It implies that you did something so wrong and only you did wrong. There is no learning from the experience with blame. Blame leads to shame. There is no love in shame.

The third mask is you abandoning certain aspects of yourself and searching elsewhere for what you think you need. First, the things that you actually need you won’t find it elsewhere. That is because it first resides within you. You abandoning certain aspects of yourself means you not tending to your own needs, you not paying attention to your emotions. It’s also you not filling yourself up with the love, care and attention you need. You first need you before anyone else needs you. No one else needs you more than you.

The fourth thing I mention is that lack of self-love reveals itself in the choices you make. You want to know if you truly love yourself? Just look at the choices you make on a daily basis. What are the choices you make when it comes to food? What are the choices you make when it comes to friends? What are the choices you make when it comes to companionship? What are the choices you make when it comes to your feelings? All these, if you take a close look, will reveal to you whether or not you truly love yourself.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon or on Barnes and Noble

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at and you can listen to my online radio show at I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

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